Totally Unexpected
With a dream in your heart, you are never alone.
- Dionne Warwick
When was the last time you allowed your mind to get really quiet?
This past weekend I again headed off to a remote location in southern Colorado to get my head quiet for a couple of days at a retreat with 12 other women. I have been doing this retreat with this wonderful group of ladies for the past 3 years.
While a few of the women have come and gone, each year seems to have a dynamic combination of just the right women. We laugh, we cry, we share deep feelings, we applaud each other, and for the most part we put our phones away and get in touch with ourselves.
The location is at a hot springs near the base of the beautiful Sangre de Cristo Mountain range (picture above) and the place is truly magical.
We began the weekend with introspection into what we wanted to let go of in our lives. Honestly, I was stumped at first feeling like I have let go of so much in my life this past year.
The idea came to me about looking into expectations. And the next day during meditations, yoga, women’s circle, and free time I contemplated what was the role that expectations played in my life. Were they good, bad, or somewhere in between?
What I discovered was that expectations come in heathy and unhealthy varieties. I contemplated where I stood between them.
The best way to understand unhealthy expectations was to see what in my life was rigid and unforgiving to the point of causing stress and self-doubt. Where was I not leaving any room for changing circumstances or the fact that mistakes and life happens differently than planned within our human condition.
The truth is these kind of expectations can in fact create more problems than they solve. Frustrating ourselves and potentially those whose lives we are connected to.
The alternative is healthy expectations which allow for flexibility and the adaptability to allow for setbacks and growth. Because my friend, growth happens when we stretch ourselves past only the expected.
And finally, there are those totally unexpected surprises in our life like I share in this week’s video from the garden. Those moments when the powers that be, both in us and around us help us to make a choice that was not at all expected. They don’t have to be big things, even the littlest happenings can be enjoyed.
The key I discovered in my inner work over these past days was the importance of understanding where I stand with my own life experiences and expectations. Yours will be different and worth the introspection.
Here’s to enjoying the freedom to make a choice. Reaping the benefits of the unexpected, similar to how a child joyfully discovers something for the first time.
Take an expectations self-quiz and see where you stand. What could you let go of this week?
Onward we grow!
Cheri
Cheri Ruskus
Author, Creator and Growth Mentor
