Empty Nests
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t you are right.”
Let’s face it, some days we are thinking more accurately than others depending on the life circumstances that surround us.
Last week I felt my brain go numb as my daughter Bailey headed off for her new life adventures in Southern California. Watching her drive down our street waving all the way until we could no longer see each other (a long term family ritual) my heart broke in two. My baby was leaving the nest once again.
Did I know this day was coming? Of course. It had been the plan that she would leave the nest again after her return home a year and a half ago from her college adventures. A brilliant business opportunity in Southern California had come her way recently and it was crystal clear she should move forward with the offer.
However, that’s where the clear concise thinking breaks away from matters of the heart. The heart can take over and rule without much logical choice.
Interestingly to share with you, the morning Bailey left I had awakened just before dawn and headed out to my garden for my morning meditation ritual as I do most days.
The week prior I had watched as the birds that had been occupying the bird house in our yard (shared with you in a previous Victory Letter) had gone from singing a sweet, easygoing melody to a more frantic, choppy song as they busily fed the baby birds that had been hatched. The parent birds were intense and constantly on the move.
Funny thing is that I felt that exact same way as I had been working hard to help Bailey pack up her things in preparation for her journey ahead. Her empty room - as sad as it felt - was the ultimate goal of bringing her idea of a new life to reality.
Suddenly that morning I heard the parent birds singing the beautiful, easygoing song again just prior to Bailey joining me in the garden for a little one-on-one special time together. My daughter and I shared a beautiful moment and then got on to taking care of the final details to get her out the door for her drive to California.
As I returned to the back yard to shed a few tears after her departure, I noted the silence in the air. Our little finches had raised their family and were now gone too! How interesting and sad for me as two nests were emptied in our home on the same day. The babies had flown the nests.
In the bird’s case, the parents had flown as well. As I was sitting there in the silence I had the thought that hopping in the car with Bailey might have resolved some of the pains in my broken heart.
Moving forward, I know that I will fully get my groove back as time goes on. Having gone through this before, I know that with patience and time my heart will mend - bringing with it a new normal. By acknowledging the pain and the process to move forward it will help me grow.
In fact, I think there are times we try to push past our painful feelings without fully realizing they are there for a reason. It is part of the human condition. By ignoring the pain we can lose focus for a longer period of time and make mistakes that can cost us much more in the long run.
Being a parent is a hard road and there are many people I know who will be sending their kids off to college or other adventures in the weeks ahead. Or, other life events that involve you having to say goodbye to someone you love. All I can say after having now been through this a number of times… it never gets easier and the key is to be kind to yourself in the process.
Allow yourself the time and space to move through your feelings as you move forward. Take steps each day towards your new normal. Treat yourself to special little treats that make you happy!
As we move through the principle of Accurate Thinking during this month, look at how your thinking is working for you in both the short and long term.
Here is a business tool to assist you along those lines. On Thursday I will be presenting a webinar in conjunction with the Eastern Colorado SBDC. The topic is Amplifying the Social Proof of your Business. This is designed to assist you in thinking through your social media strategies and the return on investment that these social tools bring to your business in both time and money.
Here is having our thinking and feeling go hand in hand as we set forward into the days ahead. Fully sing the song you were meant to sing!
